A very special “Drinking on $11 a Night” as Kevin Downey, Jr. returns to the dive bars of his early years!

Welcome back. My dreams were my ticket out of Detroit, specifically the Warrendale section, though the real estate people now refer to my neighborhood as the (gulp) Herman Gardens region. Warrendale was still a mostly Polish section of Detroit when we moved in back in ’69 or’70. I had cousins and both sets of grandparents within a 3 minute drive, and when I was older, an easy bike ride. We lived on Ashton, on the first block off of Southfield Freeway. [...]

As shocking as it may seem, I didn’t know I was white trash until I was 18. This, despite the fact that I lived in Detroit, my mother was pregnant with me at 15, and no one in my family had been to college unless it was in a janitor’s uniform. I had no idea, until my family went on vacation to Myrtle Beach and I my father came home wearing a t-shirt that read “Show your Tits” and a matching “Give Me head til I’m dead” trucker

I wish I was holding an Uzi every time some moron said, “We aren’t in Kansas any more, HAHAHA SNORT!” Especially now that I’ve been to Kansas. Kansas is unlike any place I’ve ever been. The people are nice, the state is pretty…I think it’s the small towns I drove through that gave me the heebies. Kansas isn’t quite the south, but yet it is. I performed in Fredonia, KS, which boasts no stop lights and 14 meth labs.

Some people see Alaska as a dismal place; summer lasts about 4 minutes, small house pets become food for eagles. And it's really, really cold. Despite this, Alaskans are some of the proudest people I've met. Prouder of their state than Texans. Alaska is frequently the last stop for people that screwed up too badly to remain in the "lower 48". A lot of Alaskans are nice. Some are glacier-dwelling rednecks, (or as I like to call them, "snowbillies") […]

I used to think people that grew up during the Depression were the cheapest in the world. Then I met some Eastern Europeans (and married one). The Nazis and/or Soviets did a number on the peeps, and they in turn passed it on to their kids. These folks can live on […]

The Swig Easy!
The French Quarter of New Orleans is odd in that it is both unctuous and deliciously creepy at the same time. Bourbon St. is redolent of vomit and full of knuckleheads screaming to see tits. Morons rent balconies, or “galleries,” on which to perch and scan the sea of faces looking for a […]

I constantly hear people griping about how “Vegas was better back in the day,” and how you “can’t get a good 99¢ shrimp cocktail anymore.” Sure, the prices in Vegas aren’t going down, but that’s no reason to give up. When the going get tough, the tough lower their standards! I wanted to see how […]

Almost 2 years ago I sat watching a 120-minute documentary on the Bermuda Triangle. Turns out the reason for all the sinking ships and crashing planes is loads of methane gas under the ocean floor. It seeps up, sinks boats and knocks WWII era Avenger torpedo bombers out of the sky. Afterwards there was another […]